Randy Ron and Rosmerta
by bexleybros
Summary: Harry, Ron and Dobby go to the Three Broomsticks and the firewhisky flows! Rosmerta has a secret heartache also.


Harry sat in the Three Broomsticks waiting for his best friend Ron to arrive. It was heavily snowing and Ron, who owned a Comet Two Sixty, was set to fly into Hogsmeade and meet him any second now.

The door opened and a bluster of cold air filled the pub, just like a dementor did, making the hair on Harry's neck stand on end. His friend, wearing a battered looking travelling coat, entered the pub and fell into the nearest chair. His usual orange, freckly face was pale and his lips had turned an unusual shade of blue.

"I'll get drinks" said Harry

"No I'll get 'em" said Ron.

Harry grinned at Ron. He knew why he wanted to get drinks but he didn't say anything

"What's so funny? Asked Ron

"Nothing…"

Ron walked up to the bar and said to the curvy, busty barmaid who was drying an empty pewter tankard

"Two butterbeers is it love?" asked Madame Rosmerta.

"Er no..." Ron said, his ears reddening slightly "Two firewhiskys please"

"Ah yes" Madame Rosmerta said a grin spreading across her face "You've come of age!"

She handed Ron two goblets full of amber liquid that were foaming slightly.

Ron sat back down and handed Harry his drink.

"Ogden's Firewhisky," began Ron,"'sposed to make you feel like a million galleons after a pint!"

Harry wasn't so sure about this.

"OK Harry, lets down these in one go. One, two, three!" Harry and Ron both downed the drinks in one gulp.

Harry now felt a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach.

"Ow!" gasped Harry "How can people drink this?"

"Oh I think I know why…" said Ron. But before Harry could ask why, he was striding confidently towards the bar.

"Grab your cloak love, you've pulled"

"Oh!" Giggled Madame Rosmerta "I've still got an hour left of my shift though."

"OK then," said Ron. "Meet me outside Honeydukes – you suck on my sugar quill if ya know what I mean."

Madame Rosmerta giggled again, but before Ron knew it, Harry was steering him back to their table.

"What are you doing Harry?" Ron said angrily.

"I'm doing you a favour here, if you'd have said anymore you would have embarrassed yourself too much."

"Yeah, you're right" said Ron, the immediate effects of the Firewhisky now wearing off.

Harry and Ron sat chatting for around twenty minutes when Dobby the house elf walked in.

"Hello Mr Potter." Squeaked Dobby "and Mr Weasley too! It's an honour to see you both." He then bowed so low his crooked nose touched the ground.

"Don't be daft Dobby!" laughed Harry. "Come sit down here with us" he said offering Dobby a stool, "Madame Rosmerta - a butterbeer please!"

"Harry Potter is most gracious. Can Dobby really have a butterbeer?"

"Certainly" said Harry

"Yeah", said Ron. "I owe you a drink as well. Make that two butterbeers, Rosmerta."

Madame Rosmerta placed two butterbeers on the table.

"Drink up Dobby" said Harry. Dobby looked at Harry uncertainly then made the tiniest of sips.

"You can do better than that!" laughed Ron. Then Dobby drank some more. He then drank the other one.

"Blimey!" said Ron. Dobby swayed unsteadily on the spindly stool he was sitting on

The candles that were burning on the table had now shrunk and the little flame that had been dancing merrily all evening had been snuffed out.

"I'd better get Dobby home, he's pissed!" said Harry, "goodnight mate"

"Thanks Harry, I think I may have a good one!"

The bar was quiet now except for a hooded man who had hacking cough. "Last orders!" Madame Rosmerta called. At this the man got up and left the Three Broomsticks.

"At last, just you and me, Wonny"

Ron gulped as Madame Rosmerta bent over the table to collect his and Harry's goblets exposing a large amount of cleavage.

It was thenext morning and the sun was rising over Hogsmeade. The room above The Three Broomsticks was filling with golden sunlight. Ron's eyes opened and he had a soft smile on his face. Next to him lay Madame Rosmerta, nestled in a rug of his ginger chest hair.

He silently slid out of bed and pointed his wand at the teapot to make it boil.

It boiled and he lovingly poured the tea and placed it on a tray. Then he gently shook Madame Rosmerta.

"Wake up my treasure."

"Huh?" Madame Rosmerta mumbled, still half-asleep.

"I've made you some tea."

She was now rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"WHAT?" Rosmerta was now wide awake. "What's going on?"

"Well you know," said Ron "we slept together and had a night of wild passion."

"Did we?" Madame Rosmerta said startled.

"Shh" Ron said "Drink up. I've made this tea extra strong, we were up till the early hours, you know!"

"Merlin's Beard! I slept with you? I really have to sort this out." She got of bed and realised she was still wearing the clothes from the night before. She pulled on her travelling cloak and threw some floo powder into the fire, which instantly roared and turned purple. She stepped into the fire and before Ron could stop her, she cried,

"St Mungo's!"

She walked into the entrance and walked up to the woman something at reception.

"I need to talk to a healer," she began. Then she whispered something in her ear so nobody else could hear.

"Through there dear."

She walked up a flight of stairs and into a room which was empty. After a five minute wait, a benign-looking healer entered and said. "And what is the problem my dear"

"I think," she faltered "I think I might be pregnant"

"OK. And you want us to find out for sure?"

She nodded.

"Right, this won't take a second." The healer stuck his head into a fire grate and out walked, to her surprise, Mad-Eye Moody.

"Alright," grunted Moody. "What do you want then, sir?"

"I want you to see if this lady here is pregnant."

"This isn't what I normally do OK" growled Moody at Rosmerta. "But St Mungo's in understaffed at the moment, and as you're a pal, I'll do it." He stood, staring at her midriff for around a minute, before deciding. "Congratulations" laughed Moody holding out a gnarled hand for her to shake "you're pregnant."

"No…" she whispered, not taking his hand to shake. "Well, I can't keep it. It will have to go."

"Are you sure?" said the healer.

"I've never been so sure in my life." She said her voice full of certainty.

"OK." The Healer said. He led her into another room which was a lot smaller.

"Ready?" the healer asked. She winced and closed her eyes. He pointed to her stomach and shouted

"Aborteus terminatus."

A flash of pink light filled the room and Moody, in the other room, shook his head, tutted and walked back into the fire and vanished.

Madame Rosmerta didn't feel any different physically. But a thousand thoughts were racing through her mind. _I've just had something inside of me killed, I'm a monster_. She then walked out of St Mungo's and the air all of a sudden seemed a lot colder.


End file.
